One Of Many Lessons I Learned

Do you know, you are being stalked? I did not, until after I met the man stalking my life. The pieces of the puzzle when put together, shows a pattern that has been going on for a very long time. Alireza Fatemi a man from the country Iran is my stalker, along with many many other people. I met this many walking down the street in San Clemente, California. He stopped his car and started talking to me, gave me his number and told me to call him. He was driving a silver Benz and looked like someone I had previously known.

I called this man and he asked me over to his apartment, overlooking the beach. I went over there the same day I met him. The apartment did not have much furniture at the time. We talked, played cards and then I left. The next time I again went over to his apartment. I asked him if he was married and he said, "no." This went on for a few weeks. He never took me out and basically begged me to stay over and wanted me to sleep with him. I did not want to sleep with him. But I did. A couple weeks later, he told me "it was just about sex."

After about another month of this odd relationship, not meeting anyone he knew, never going out on the town, I said to myself this is dysfunctional and something is not right. I told him I did not want to see him anymore. He called me after this periodically. Just to have sex. I met him in June 2004 and when I think back on my life, he definitely was terrorizing me before then.

The lessons I learned from this and want to share to help others that are dealing with a stalker are these. It is very important when you finally realize someone is stalking and terrorizing you to:

1. Take pictures of the person, or anyone you think is proxy stalking you with him or her.

2. Record verbal messages, phone calls, meetings with the person. 

3. Keep a stalking incident and behavior log

4. Call the police and report actions that are harmful and abusive. Report everything because it is not one or two things that will convict them, it is a pattern of events and behaviors. 

5. Hopefully you will have friends and family on your team. My family and friends turned on me and took the rich and famous stalkers side. Use these people for support and let them know if the stalker tries to call them, to notify you. 

The stalker in my life terrorized me so much, with so many other people, it was hard to keep up with everything. But if you can do the things above, you should have a better chance of pressing charges or catching the stalker in action. It can be a very exhausting, violent, abusive and destructive life. It is not your fault. You did nothing to make the stalker terrorize you. It is their own insecurities and dysfunctions that makes them terrorize their victims. They prey on independent, vivacious, inspirational people. Stalkers love to suck the life out of you. That gives them great joy. Remember it is not about you, it is about them. They can be extreme terrorists.