My Invisible Husband

Do you ever get emails that say 'lonely cheating wife'? I do and lots of them. You see I do have an invisible husband. It is a very weird marriage. There is no sex, because he is a virgin. He has a phobia, about sex. He does not live with me, because even though he does not like sex, he has many wives and girlfriends. He likes his own space and doing his own program, without a wife telling him what to do, but he likes to be married. He has the best of all worlds.

I have only seen my husband a few times. Not sure how many times all the other wives and girlfriends have seen him, but it is none of my business. He is a very loving husband, touches you once every ten years, does not celebrate your birthdays or any special day for that matter. He is kind and caring more than any other man on earth, so kind he thinks living on the streets is a perfect place for his wife to live. He is a very caring man, and does not like you to have any friends, but he really and truly loves me with all his heart.

Being married to this invisible husband, is not like having a real husband or boyfriend. One who wines and dines you, gives his Lamborghini to drive around town, his plane to go to Paris or his yacht to take to Hawaii. Maybe the other wives and girlfriends get these pleasures, but not me. I am the wife who gets all the wrath and I mean all of it. None of the other wives, get any of it, not one second of it. I am the one if I do not obey, the wrath comes down like lightening bolts. But I love my invisible husband so much.

I bless my invisible husband and wish for a day, when he might do the same for me. I bless all of his other wives and girlfriends and hope someday one of them can make him really happy and they will live happily ever after. It has been 8 years since I have seen my invisible husband, I wonder if I will ever see him again, or just feel his wrath? May blessings fall upon this man and all his other wives and girlfriends. May the year 2013 be a happy year for my invisible husband. Blessings to all in the year 2013!

~~~ The Satire of A Lonely Cheating Wife